It's a common problem - your child refuses to do their homework, revise, help out with tasks at home, or generally seem disinterested in everything.
How do you usually deal with this situation? Here, we give 4 suggestions on how to improve the situation:
#1: Try to understand the underlying reason
You can only attain a certain level of success when you force them. Today they may give in and open that book and start writing in it. What about tomorrow? Will you have to fight them again and again?
Nobody likes to be yelled at. Instead of pressurizing them, talk about what they want. Uncovering the underlying reason is more beneficial in the long-run. Are they resisting because they can't do it well? Are they avoiding the task to avoid feeling down? Do they not see the value of what they're been asked to do? From there, the next steps become clearer.
#2: Help them plan
Maybe they want to pass their English but feel too demoralised by their poor results to do anything about it? Or maybe they think nothing they do is going to help, so why bother?
This is where you help them set realistic and attainable targets and chart a course to reach them. Start small, so that they can gain confidence that they can do it. Here, constant monitoring of their progress and adjusting the course and targets based on their abilities and feedback will be greatly beneficial to achieve the final goal. Naturally, it also gives them the reassurance that you have their backs and will be there every step of the way.
#3: Help them seek the help they need
Sometimes all they need is a push, reminder or encouragement from you. But in other cases, they may require more specialised help or mentoring that is beyond your abilities. Issues like anxiety, depression, learning disabilities can be greatly alleviated when professional help is roped in. Extra after-school tuition may be helpful if they need more time/examples/explanation beyond what's given in classroom teaching.
As an adult and parent, your responsibility is to guide them towards the support that they need. If you're not sure, tap on the expertise of the school teachers or the collective experience of parent support groups to access the resources.
#4: Stay positive & patient
Yes, parenting is hard. It can take a lot of time, guessing, positivity and all skills in your arsenal. But it is also going to be highly rewarding. Not only can you take targeted effective steps to help your child, this process of active listening and understanding each other also fortifies the parent-child relationship.
While the situation may be frustrating, we hope some of these suggestions can provide some insight or inspiration for overcoming the challenges. Good luck!
Related to: For Parents